All things Head Spinning, Logic & Life-size Decisions.
With a couple of hours under your belt, I hope your Monday morning has been a great introduction to the week.
Last week was exactly just that – another week.
Nothing really at all too significant to be worth reporting. I was actually starting to get a little nervous this weekend, thinking that the email I was due to sit and write to you would be severely lacking in meaty content, because the week has been just 7 days of ‘stuff & busy-ness’.
Hey, they can’t all be high flying, inspirational or majorly reflective. In fact, in order to have the peaks and the troughs, somewhere – you need the middle.
I WAS thinking that…Until last night.
Then, it all happened.
This weekend was my Daughters 3rd Birthday, ahhh – I know (I’ll share some proud Daddy piccies in a little while). We had a fantastic day, which went something along the lines of:
…sleepover party with her cousin, up early, 1,000’s of presents, all opened in 5 minutes, all the toys out, all the sweets out, off to a party, hours of fun, cake and kiddy carnage, eating things that shouldn’t have been eaten, doing things that shouldn’t have been done (but heck, it’s her birthday), back home, MORE presents opened, more treats, no sleep …and by then – it is around 6 o’clock (I was tired, let alone her!)…
It was then that Mummy left – for an overnight stay in Suffolk… and I was left with the Princess…
A Princess she was… right up until the moment that I heard the words… “I – want – mummy – to put – me – to bed…”.
So I took my time to explain that; “tonight – Daddy was doing bedtime, as Mummy is away for the night”. Yet, right then and there, I knew this was going to go all of one way, and it wasn’t going to be ‘my way’.
What ensued (and I’ll save you the gory details) was 30 minutes of foot stamping, floor rolling, ear piercing, door slamming, head spinning, tonsil shredding, eye popping, MELTDOWN… (and it wasn’t from me I can assure you!). I swear that somewhere in the house, Mike Oldfield was sitting in a cupboard knocking out a rendition of tubular bells on our tins of beans!
Now, being the responsible adult that I am (cough-cough), I have learnt to apply logic 1st to a situation such as this – and not react on emotion. I realised pretty quickly that it wasn’t going to do me any justice to even try and fight back. They say ‘it takes 2 to argue’ – but she was doing a darn good job of it on her own!
But when you consider her perspective, you can see past the ‘meltdown’ and recognise the behaviour for exactly what it is, a reaction to the excesses of the day, Too much of a good thing and just an immense need for sleep! The last thing it was actually about (I hope) was me and the ‘putting her to bed’.
By the end of the 30 minutes, the red mist cleared and what slowly reappeared, was my somewhat sniveling yet still very beautiful & very tired 3 year old daughter. Who, I might add, then proceeded to clean teeth and tuck up in bed as if nothing had ever happened…
As I went back downstairs (in some what of a daze), it left me thinking…
Without taking a moment to understand the real issue on the table, why she was really upset, I could have reacted in a completely different way. We could have chosen to ‘slug it out’ toe to toe, making it a battle of wills with words so to speak. I could have taken it personally and get drawn in to the emotion of it all. Yet sometimes, when you take a moment to appreciate an alternative perspective, seeing past the issue in front of you, helps you to find a way forward.
Reflectively applying this to my world, as an adult – I know how easy it is to respond and react with your emotions. Whether this be in work with colleagues, at home with my wife, behind the wheel of a car (not that I am one for road-rage of course!), usually, it is not the sensible response. The knee-jerk reaction to want to throw a fit and give a footstomp when things don’t go your way, in any walk of life is hardwired in to each of us. Yet we all, as adults, have a game changing tool in our arsenal.
Rational, evidence-based thinking that helps us to think in shades of grey. The giver of balanced judgment. As adults, we (some better than others) are able to use logical reasoning to help make our behaviour predictable, rational and calm. Especially when all we naturally want to do is react with our emotions. The better we can become at diverting our responses and reactions from our emotional brain, through to our logical brain, the easier life will become and the simpler the solutions will appear!
…and then, we can take all this and apply the theory to business, leadership, teams & success. But that my friend, is a whole other story!
Also worth throwing this link in here, powerful stuff:
We have so much to learn from children and we don’t even know it.
So here goes with this weeks ‘Check In’…
One thing Personal.
Millie’s 3rd Birthday.
Regardless of the little ‘wobble’ at bedtime, it was a truly amazing day with my Daughter, my family & our friends. Hey, I even got to meet a real-life princess – well, this was the real Elsa wasn’t it? What do you mean, ‘No’? 🙂
One thing Professional.
Tuesday – 2x 90 Minute EOS Experiences.
Last week I had 2 very useful 90 minute EOS Experiences, 1 with a connector and another with a company that absolutely see the value in how EOS can help them solve their issues. I shall keep you updated!
One thing on the horizon.
Network to Get Work…
The Harbour Works, Torquay
Thursday, 17 March 2016; 17:30 – 20:00
Join Oliver Dax from Monkey’s Paw and myself for an evening of Business Planning, Marketing Strategy & Sales Training. All for Free, courtesy of the Harbour Works, a co-working space and business hub in Torquay.
One thing I learnt.
When the Market doesn’t believe your Story...
Another cranial adjustment for me this week, all thanks to Seth Godin. This really resonated with me as I work to introduce the concept of using an operating system to run your business here in the UK. I hope you can get some value from his thoughts.
Confidence is arrogance if the market doesn’t believe the story.
When we show up with something great, something generous, well-executed and new, some people will be suspicious. “Is this everything it’s cracked up to be?” The skeptic wonders if we have the standing to back it up.
You’re not going to be able to persuade those skeptics. In fact, when you try, you end up dressing up your confident presentation with too many claims and you risk being seen as merely arrogant.
The classic 1984 Apple commercial was beautifully confident. It pulled no punches, it was perfectly crafted and it described a product that some people believed would change their lives.
The 1985 commercial, though, was perceived as arrogant. Without enough to back it up, the skeptic in us said, “I don’t want this change*, it’s not real.” (*the bulk of the market doesn’t ever truly want change, because change brings risk and risk brings fear. Give people a chance to avoid change, and they’ll likely take it).
The market needs the hubris of high expectations, it’s the only thing that seduces some people to embrace change. But the provider (that’s us) has to tell a coherent, resonant, true story that touches the right people the right way.
One thing worth sharing.
Happy, Smart, & Useful
There are 3 things to consider when making life-size decisions:
- what makes you happy
- what’s smart (long-term good for you)
- what’s useful to others
Find out what happens to us when we forget to consider any one of these. https://sivers.org/hsu
* Tip of the hat for this share from Julian Summerhayes
Julian is a wealth of knowledge. Follow his content here:
That’s it folks, this weeks round up of my ‘5 in 5’.
Feel free to write back and let me know your bests from the week, your ‘5 in 5’. I really would love to hear them!
Have an awesome week, I can’t wait to hear from you.
P.S With the nature of my business, I need referrals to enable me to do the best work, with the best people. I work with already successful entrepreneurs who may be facing a seemingly ‘impossible’ goal, to help them get what they want from their company.
If that sounds like anyone you know, I will share 2 hours of my time to create a powerful EOS learning & teaching experience for them. Have them call me and let them know that we will get their challenges handled. Forever.
View this article on my blog:
Dean Breyley / Grow or Die.
Simplify, Clarify & Achieve Your Vision.
+44 (0)7709 576 499
/in/deanbreyley . The UK & Europe